Browsing All Posts filed under »Humour«

Pledge of Malfeasance

March 6, 2013 by


I pledge malfeasance to the Drag of the Divided States of America, and to the Repugnant for which it blands, one Station under Fog, indefensible, with Liberty and Justice for malls. Advertisements

Boston Globe Provides News From Alternate Universe

December 8, 2011 by


This page was put up by the Boston Globe, and quickly yanked after the Boston Police Department decided not to evict #OccupyBoston from Dewey Square. I’m pretty sure the Globe would have preferred this piece hadn’t been noticed. I have a saved version of the file. Anyone who wants it, drop me a message via […]

The Corporate-Owned Banner — Francis Scott Key Revisited

October 30, 2011 by


Based upon The Star-Spangled Banner. Feel free to sing aloud!   O! say can you see by the cop’s mobile light What so proudly we hailed at the journos’ last streaming? Whose bank fraud and fake ‘change’ through the financial blight, O’er the kettle we watched were so blatantly gleaming? And the tear gas’s flare, […]

State of the Empire, Part 4 of 4

February 1, 2011 by


This is the final section of the address. I find it disturbing that 1) it’s getting easier to turn Obamaspeak into Newspeak, and 2) the end result, in my opinion, makes much more sense than the original. Scary. Crack open those Newspeak dictionaries  for the Union, because here we go again. See Part 1 here, […]

State of the Empire, Part 3 of 4

January 31, 2011 by


It occurred to me, that I’m not really translating Newspeak into Oldspeak. Rather, I’m using Newspeak to make Obamaspeak make sense in Oldspeak. So, think of this as an exercise in Newnewspeak. Doubleplusgood, yes? Grab your dictionaries, it’s time to get throughout the next portion! See Part 1 here, and Part 2 here. Over the […]

State of the Empire, Part 2 of 4

January 28, 2011 by


Continuing through the speech! Everybody grab your Newspeak dictionaries and get a cup of tea. See Part 1 here. At the California Institute of Technology, they’re developing a way to turn sunlight and water into fuel for our cars. At Oak Ridge National Laboratory, they’re using supercomputers to get a lot more power out of […]

State of the Empire, Part 1 of 4

January 27, 2011 by


In honour of the US government’s efforts to crush WikiLeaks whilst lauding freedom of speech, and its torturing of Pfc Bradley Manning whilst demanding China improve its stance on human rights, I’ve pulled out my Doublethink translator. The following is President Barack Obama’s 2011 State of the Union speech, translated from Newspeak into Oldspeak, and […]